When we last left our hero, Lancelot had just lost a battle against a little girl. Yes you heard right, a little girl. This turn of events has made me realize that Lancelot cannot possibly save Guinevere from the ultimate evil.
Therefore, this chapter will not feature Lancelot at all. In this chapter our story is going to change pace from an unlikely hero to a slightly more likely heroine. No, not the girl in the little red riding hood. (Though, I did consider that) No, the heroine is going to be none other that Cindy, the court jester.
What?! You don’t remember Cindy? Argh! Read the first chapter again! I will give you time to do so now…………….Ok, done now? Ok, here it is, Cindy of Camelot:
Cindy – Where are my oranges? Larry, tell me you did not eat my oranges!
Lenny – My name is Lenny and I did not eat your oranges.
Cindy gives Larry a look so cold that Chuck Norris would have to cry out in terror.
Lenny – Ok, I ate them. So what?
Cindy – So what? So what am I going to juggle now?
Lenny – Who cares?
Cindy – Who cares? I care! I am so fired! Ah, I don’t need this job anyway. I came to Camelot to make a name for myself. To show that women can do anything that men can do. I didn’t come here to juggle oranges like some zombie.
Lenny – Yeah! and I seriously doubt that the king wants to see juggling anyway. What with his wife being kidnapped by the ultimate evil and all.
Cindy – What?! Guinevere gets kidnapped by the ultimate evil and you don’t tell me?
Lenny – Didn’t seem important.
Cindy -Didn’t seem important?! Oh, you idiot! What happened, Larry?
Lenny – Its Lenny, not Larry, and Nobody knows what happened. The king just says that she has been taken by the greatest evil known to mankind. Something so evil it would make the devil himself tremble.
Cindy – Wow. How many knights did he send after her?
Lenny – One. The rest were too afraid.
Cindy – Really? Who is this brave knight.
Lenny – Lancelot.
Cindy – Oh lord, Guinevere’s doomed. Wait! This is just the chance I need. I will save lady Guinevere and prove that I am just a capable as anyone else. I will become the first female knight in history and you’re going to help me do it.
Lenny – Me?
Cindy -Sure Larry. Every hero needs a sidekick. Now come were are off to save Guinevere!
Lenny – LENNY!
Cindy and Larry leave the castle and start walking along a dirt path when suddenly they hear somebody on horseback approaching from behind.
Cindy – Larry, I have a plan. Play along.
Just as the man on horseback approaches Cindy throws herself onto the ground.
Cindy – (In a bad souther accent) Oh, my! This big ol’e brute wants to hurt little ol’e defenseless me! Isn’t there a big strong man anywhere to save me!
Lenny – What? Oh, yeah! (In an even worse southern accent) I am big and mean and I mean you harm, miss.
The man on horseback, who turns out to be a knight, leaps off his horse and draws his sword.
Knight – I’ll save you fair maiden.
Cindy – (Still in souther accent) Oh, my! Thank you!
Cindy then begins to clobber the knight, take his sword and armor and steal his horse. She rode off into the sunset then turned around and came back because she forgot Larry. After that, they rode until they saw two strange figures in the horizon.
Cindy – Who are they?
Who are these figures? Will Lancelot even appear in the story again? Why am I even bothering to ask these questions when the answer is obvious! Why are you wasting your time with this? Will Guinevere ever be saved? When will this story end? Well, fear not because the next chapter of this exiting story is the last! So, stay tuned for the exiting conclusion of Lancelot of Camelot!
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