Fun things to do on a College Campus

In 8 Days, I start my freshman year at UNA.  I am so excited.  So to celebrate, here is a list of fun things to do at a college campus.  (I really needed to write another Fun Things list anyways)

1. If the school has live mascots (mine has 2 lions), set them free.  If caught explain that it was a metaphor that students should not be confined by the standards of conventinal wisdom, but that each man should choose his own route to enlightenment….then start laughing like a demonic schoogirl.
2. Sneak into people’s dorm rooms and leave a little chocolate candy on their pillow….
3. ….or better yet, pour chocolate syrup on their pillow.
4. During the Big Game, while everyone else is singing the school’s fight song, you sing CGNU’s fight song.
5. Have an impromptu yodeling contest in the library.
6. Three words: pet ostrage races!
7. When a freshman comes up to you asking for directions, scream “Stranger Danger” and run away.
8. Start a rap war with a complete stranger.
9. Pretend to be the world’s youngest professor of french philosophy.  Hold regular classes.
10. Come to the math building bringing, a siamese cat with a siamese twin, weird al, a skateboard, a rope, and 4 pounds of cow dung….use your imagination.
11. Come to your classes dressed as a clown!
12. On a test, answer all the questions with Strong Bad quotes.
13. Paint the grass on the football stadium pink.
14. Invent a new type of math that includes marshmallows, pizza, and videogames in the equations….hold regular classes.
15. Merge the class in #14 and the class in #9, call it french dude trigolosopy.
16. Insist that the college grant you Sabbatical.
17. Hold a concert on the roof of the dorm bulding.  Can’t sing or play insturments, you say?  Who cares!  Just give it your best shot!

Fun things to do in a Doctor’s Office

Hmmm……I have not written one of these in a while.  It is flu season…so how about a Dr.’s Office one.

1. See how many cotton balls you can fit in your mouth.
2. Run in screaming “I’M DYING!  I’M DYING!  OH MY…wait…no….false alarm!”  Then leave.
3. Come in in a bio-hazard suit.  Act like nothing unusual is happening.  If questioned simply say that you are taking standard precautions.   Explain that ever since you have been prescribed as a hypochondriac, you have been afraid you are gonna spead it to others.
4. Run out of the hospital screaming “The Catheter is a lie!”
5. Pass out free urine samples.
6. Cover your face with ketchup then run in screaming “THE CLOWN DID IT TO ME!”  See how long it takes them to figure out that it is ketchup….and that the clown is Ronald McDonald.
7. Come in crying and acting like it is an emergency.  When they take you back, explain that you have a paper cut and you want them to kiss it and make it better.
8. While in the waiting room, stand up and shout “Medical Care is great and all, but it’s not as healthy as Jamesdojo.wordpress.com )
9. Bring your pet ostridge.
10. Come covered in bandages…if/when someone asked what happens say “I don’t wanna talk about it” then whisper “Darn chiwawas”
11. Cough to the tune of Jingle Bells
12. When the Dr. says “What seems to be the trouble,” reply by explaining all of the world’s problems.
13. As soon as he/she puts the stethoscope to your chest scream “ITS SO COLD!”
14. Tickle the other patients.  When told to stop, say “laughter is the best medicine”

Disclaimer:  I don’t actually want you to do these things.  Doctor’s are very important people and they deserve respect…etc.  This post is just a joke, so don’t harass me about it.

Fun things to do at a Sam’s Club

1. When they ask you for your membership card, wave your hand and say “you don’t need to see my identification.  I’m not the droid your looking for”.
2. Buy a bunch of hot dogs and try to start a Hot Dog eating contest with the employees.
3. When asked to show your card, say “uh…my card…well, you see..I…” then run away as fast as you can.
4. Hijack the PA system Microphone and announce to the customers that the store is being attack by aliens and they are all gonna die.
5. Get a cart and head to the air conditioners.  Wait until an employee is watching then try to put it in your cart.  They should come to help.  Get them to load it for you then explain that you need 13 of them.  (for resale) After they have loaded all 13 air-conditioners…tell them you changed your mind and don’t want them after all.
6. Get a free sample.  Wait 5 minuits and come back for another one.  Continue the process.
7. Get everyone’s attention  by screaming that you have an announcement to make.  Tell them “buying stuff in bulk is great, but not as great as jamesdojo.wordpress.com”.;)
8. Three Words:  Cheese Wiz Bomb!
9. Steal the free samples
10. Open up everything and put part of it in your cart.  (Ex:  Open up the box of 600 Popsicles and put 3 in your cart)  When someone ask what your doing, reply “All these boxes have so much!  I’m only one person, I don’t need to buy in bulk!”
11. Buy the 60 count Eggo waffles.  Wait outside and throw the frozen waffles at people leaving the store.

Fun Things to Do During a Test

1. Wad up the paper, and throw it at the teacher. Get  up, get the paper and demand to know why the teacher wadded up your test.
2. Hire someone to do the test for you. if you are broke, pay him/her in pencil shavings.
3. Come Dressed as a Lobster. (There is no rule against it!)
4. If you are in my class, make a perfect grade. Then sign my name instead of yours.
5. On the test, write “Mr. Washington would like it if I got a perfect score.” Tape a penny to the test.
6. Stand on your test and yell “Education is important and all, but not as important as jamesdojo.wordpress.com!!!”
7. Write “27″ for every answer.
8. Ignore the questions. Instead write about your love life. (or lack thereof) After the test, ask the teacher what he/she thinks you should do.
9. Throw a pencil sharpener at the teacher. Yell “Whatcha gonna do about it, skippy? Fail me?!”
10. Write the answers to the test in reverse.
11. Write with a number 3 pencil instead of number 2
12. Three Words: Arson Loving Penguin
13. During the middle of the test, stand up and start singing. I would recommend “It’s not unusual” by Tom Jones or Joy to the World! ( Jeremiah was a bull frog. Was a good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said. But I helped him a-drink his wine)
14. Bring your pet bullfrog, Jeremiah!
15. Throw Jeremiah at another student. Call the student “A stuck up, scruffy looking nerf herder”
16. Play Super Smash Bros Brawl.
17. Ask the teacher for the answers. When he or she refuses, threaten to fire him/her.
18. Refuse to answer any of the questions but insist a perfect score. Say you earned it.

Fun things to do when in the middle of the school play

Yeah, if you don’t already know, I am in the school play.  (Not Cool!)  The play was clever, well written, and funny.  Then our teacher (who would not know humor if it hit her) took out most of the jokes.  The play is now stupid, humorless, and incoherent.  Most of us have lost complete interest in this new version.  Therefore, we suck.  So, in an attempt to rid myself of some of the stress….I present: Fun Things To Do In The School Play!

1. Start Speaking with a fake accent. (A girl really is doing this…it is awesome)
2. Dance at inappropriate times.  (like in the part of the play where you find out your aunt is murdered)
3. Start a fight.
4. Two Words: Water Balloons.
5. One Word: Improv.
6. Refuse to preform unless you are served a glass bowl of brown M&Ms.
7. Randomly start singing Geeks In Love
8. Preform the part perfectly…someone else’s part that is.
9. If anyone boos, make them try to do better
10. Suddenly yell, “Theatre is great and all, but jamesdojo.wordpress.com is better!”
11. Throw rotten produce at the audience.  (see how they like it!)
12. Pretend to be Hamlet.  Preform all of his lines…unless the play is Hamlet….then you can be Romeo.
13. Halfway through the play, yell “Cut” and walk away saying “I can’t work with these people!  I’m taking 5.”
14. “Forget” your lines and bring out the playbook to look them up.
15. Bring your pet ostrich to school.   (See fun things to do in Wal-Mart)

Fun Things To Do At Prom

I, personally, don’t care for prom.  I am not going this year, and I do not plan on going next year.  However,  prom is tomorrow and I can’t help but be overwhelmed by all the chaos. (That is why I am in the computer lab right now, everyone else is preparing for the big night)  So, I thought I would take this opportunity to share some of my own prom tips.

1. Because most girls take off their shoes to dance, it is a good idea to come barefoot.
2. Guys, girls may say that they want you to wear a tux, but we all know that girls like surprises.  So, come to prom wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of jogging pants.
3. When the prom king and queen are announced, pour a cooler of Gatorade on them.  It makes sense because they will probably be the captain of the football team and the head cheerleader anyway.
4. Have a Lightsaber Fight.
5. Steal someone else’s date….literally.  Pick her up and carry her away when he is not looking.
6. Bribe the DJ to play the barney song.
7. Randomly stand up any yell that prom is short for promenade.  (That really is true. Wikipedia told me!)  Girls will be so impressed with your knowledge of prom, they will dump their dates to hang out with you.
8. Bring pet rats.  Set them free so that they may dance too.
9. Throw raw fish at random people.
10. Stand on a table and shout, “You know, promenade/prom is great, but not as great as visiting Jamesdojo.wordpress.com!” 
11. While dinner is being served, start a food fight!
12. Two Words:  Stink Bomb  (It’s a classic!)
13. Propose a toast, “to all the idiots who paid $30 and rented tux/dress so they could hang out in a smelly gym that has streamer randomly thrown about”.  (We are having the prom in the school gym this year instead of renting a place)
14. Propose another toast “to all the underclassmen who gave up their dignity to serve the idiots mentioned in the last toast”.  (No offence Earl)
15. Bring Waffles.  (with syrup and butter of course)
16. Break Dance to every slow song that is played.
17. Come dressed as a viking.
18. Come bringing a stack of school papers.  Try to sell them.  Be sure to yell so that everyone knows that you are selling them…..hey, Earl….your going to prom, right?….I got a little job for you.
19. Since your in a gym, start a game of Dodge-ball.
20. Set the streamers on fire.  (Nothing says “Good Memories” quite like arson)

That is all I can think of right now.  I may add more in the comments section later.  If you can think of some, then please feel free to tell us.

(see, I told you I had a good idea for a post!)

Fun Things To Do in a Fast Food Restraunt

1. (In McDonald’s) Order A Happy meal. Come back a Minuit later and tell the cashier “There is a problem with my meal. It does not look happy. Could you tell it a joke?”
2. Bring a friend. Throw ketchup packets at each other. Start a ketchup war. Try to get other poeple (customers and employees) to join.
3. Anytime you see someone eat/order anything with chicken, yell “That’s not chicken!!!”
4. Three Words: Big Mac Explosion
5. (In Burger King) Wear one of those paper crowns. Declare yourself to be the king! Demand that the employees give you free food.
6. (In McDonald’s) Order A Whopper
7. (In Burger King) Order A Big Mac
8. Force your way into the kitchen. As they drag you out yell “It’s people! It’s people!”
9. Order a Burger, ask them to hold the pickles. When you get your order, yell “I said hold the pickles!!!” When they say that they did, simply reply ‘I don’t see them in your hand!”
10. Walk around the restaurant and ask strangers if they are going to finish their fries. Before they can answer, start shoving the fries in your mouth. See how long it takes for you to get thrown out.
11. (In Taco Bell) Order a burger and fries.
12. (In McDonald’s) Order A Happy Meal. As soon as you get it, throw the food away and play with the toy.
13. Walk through the drivethru
14. Order something through the drivethru and then pick it up in the store.
15. Dance on the tables while singing the safety dance…(really this is a fun one to do anywhere!)
16. Stand up and shout “Fast food is great and all, but it is nowhere near as good as Jamesdojo.wordpress.com!”
17. Walk in and order a meal. Pay for the food. Sit down and eat. Leave. (Dressed as a wookiee!)
18. Try to pay for your food with chucky cheese tokens.
19. Walk into McDonald’s with a meal from Burger King. Sit down and eat it. Stand up and yell “This is the best meal I have ever eaten in here!!!” Leave.

Fun things to do on Valintine’s Day

Valentine’s day can be depressing for those without someone special. Therefore I am going to share some tips for those of you with no one (and no SSBB) to spend Valentine’s day with. This should brighten your day. [Note: because I am a dude. I am talking about if you don't have a girlfriend. If you are a girl and you are reading it then please just swich the genders mentioned so that it will fit you. This saves me the trouble of having to word it in a gender-natural way.]

 

1. Order candy. Have it delivered to you. Enjoy!

2. Come to school\work\ect. dresses as cupid. Bring a Nerf gun. Shoot random people while yelling “She loves me!, She loves me not!”

3. Wear one of those rings you can get for a quarter out of one of those gumball machines. Find a lovely couple about your age. Pretend to cry as you walk up to the girl and yell, “I thought what we had was special.” Throw the plastic ring at the person and say “Take it! I don’t want it anymore!”. Run off while sobbing uncontrollably.

4. Dress as a gorilla. Force your way into a fancy restraunt and yell “Don’t listen to her! She will tell you she loves you but then she’ll let the men in planes shoot you off the empire state building. But Kong will have his day! I am the king!” Then begin to beat your chest any yell until they try to take you away.

5. Walk up to random couples saying “Love is the strongest of all emotions, but Jamesdojo.wordpress.com is even stronger”

6. Have flowers and candy sent to you in public. Eat the flowers and put the candy in a vase. if anyone questions your choice of actions, tell them that love makes you do strange things.

7. Two Words: Dead Rat (use your imagination)

8. Buy a box of valentines cards and decorate a paper bag. Force your way into a 3rd grade classroom. Then, precede to trade valentines with all the kids. (Cry is a kid does not have one for you.)

9. Ask complete strangers to be your valentine

10. Create an imaginary Girlfriend. Propose to her in public. When she says no, cry and ask why. The precede to get into an argument about the reasons that you imagine that she gave.

11. Go online and read these kind of lists.

12. Start singing love songs in public. If any girl is bold enough to sing along with you, Say “Where have you been all my life?” Sweep her off her feet and run off with her. If she does not freak out, you may have met your dream girl….or at least mine.

13. Go to wal-mart. Grab a bunch of Valentine’s cards then hand them out to people in the store. (Don’t actually buy them, just hand them to people)

Fun Things To Do In The Cafetria

1.  Dress as a Super-Villian.  Call yourself “The Bagel Bandit.”  Steal everyone’s Bagles.  For added fun have a friend dress up as the “The Chocolate Crusader”  He can beat you.  (Thus giving you your “just deserts”) then throw hersey’s kisses into the air.

2.   Order the Lobster or a Steak, medium-rare.  Complain when they refuse to take your order.  Stomp off saying something to the effect of “This is the last time I eat at this establishment” or “They are gettin only one star from me!”

3.  Two Words: Food fight

4.  Five Words: Food Fight … with a monkey

5.  Pass out forks

6.  Take the forks back

7.  Replace the forks with spoons.

8. Tell the lunch lady “I find your lack of steak disturbing”

9.  Stand up and yell “Eating is fun and all but jamesdojo.wordpress.com is better!”

10.  Take a nap on the table.

11.  Stare at you mashed potatoes  (or somebody else’s)

12. Sneak into the kitchen.  Run out screaming “It’s not chicken!!!”  Watch the chaos.

13.  Stand on the table and start singing and dancing.  If someone questions your actions, simply respond “Dinner Theater”

14.  Order pizza for everyone!

15.  Have the cook taste the food before you eat it.  If he/she refuses, run and never eat there again.

16.  Have the your dog taste the food before you eat it.  If he/she refuses, run and never eat there again.

17.  Have me taste the food before you eat it.  If I like it…give all of it to me! 

18.  Hand the cook a $20 and ask for the good stuff.

19.  Every time the person next to you takes a bite, laugh a little.  As soon as they look at you stop and put the most serious look on your face as you can.

20.  Insist that you cook everything on your own

Fun Things to do on New Years Eve

1. Sing Karaoke with a fake voice. Try to sound like Spongebob or James Earl Jones….or Spongebob pretending to be James Earl Jones!

2. Shoot Fireworks…In Wal Mart! What?! The Celings are high enough!

3. 2 words: Penguin Fight

4. Dye your hair red!

5. Goto a big party. At the stoke of Midnight get everyones attention and say, “New year celebrations are good but jamesdojo.wordpress.com is better”

6. Goto a friends house to celebrate. Eat all their food, make a mess, and then leave.

7. Goto a complete stangers house to celebrate. Eat all their food, make a mess, and then leave.

8. Throw a party like I am. If somebody turns down the invitaion comes just do what I do….kidnap them! (That means you linklinker!)

9. Go to your front yard. Count down the seconds. The,n set off fireworks and then shout “HAPPY NEW YEAR” Into a megaphone. Do this once every hour. (for all the different timezones)

10. Tell people you cant believe it is new years eve already. Say that it seems like it was only year ago that you had the last one!

11. Sing the Auld Lang Syne.

12. Sing the Auld Lang Syne in Pig Latin!

13. ….uh….I cant think of anything to write here

14. Scream…all day…don’t stop exept for to breath.

15. Pretend you are caught in an anomaly in the space-time continuum.

16. Watch one of the episodes of Star-Trek where they get caught in anomaly in the space-time continuum. (Or one of the movies where it happens)

17. Eat junk food until you pass out!

18. Wait till your friend passses out From too much junk food then put shaving cream in his hand And tickle his faces with some feather and or putt his hand in luke-warm water so he will wet The bed, butt, be carefull cause if he or she is at ur house u will have to clean it up and then the joke will be on you not him or she.

19. Try to fix all the grammar errors in the last post.

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR!!!