10 Random Quotes From Psych

Gus: Do you think it could be PTSD?

Shawn: I think it’s slightly more serious than a mere menstrual issue.

-

Shawn: You know I’m not really a regular person, right Phil?

Phil: What does that mean?

Shawn: ‘Cause I tried once and failed. I’m just too unique and interesting.

-

Gus: Brazilian airport codes. How do you know that?

Shawn: I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.

Gus: That was Tom Hanks in The Terminal!

Shawn: Same difference.

-

Shawn: Do you realize what this means? She said “Big” and “Top Secret!” That’s two of our favorite 80s movies!

–

Juliet: Detective Lassiter is literally on fire today.

Shawn: “Literally on fire” as in Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial, or as in misuse of the word “literally?”

–

Gus: You named your fake detective agency “Psych?” Why didn’t you just call it “Hey, we’re fooling you and the police department; hope we don’t make a mistake and somebody dies because of it.”

Shawn: First of all, Gus, that name is entirely too long; it would never fit on the window. And secondly, the best way you convince people you’re not lying to them is to tell them you are!

–

Shawn: I’m so sorry about this; my assistant makes all my reserveations but she’s been under heavy medication. She was recently diagnosed with parvo.

Hotel Clerk: Isn’t that a dog’s disease?

Shawn: Yes, yes it is. My assistant is a Golden Retriever, adorable but dim. Her whole keyboard is just three big buttons. She has very large paws. I should have fired her years ago but she’s a rescue and I didn’t have the heart.

–

Shawn: How do I look, Jules?

Juliet: Like my 11-year-old nephew in his Peyton Manning pajamas.

Shawn: Your 11-year-old nephew is ruggedly sexy? That’s weird.

–

Shawn: Gus, don’t be exactly one half of an eleven-pound Black Forest ham!

–

Henry: I’m a tax-paying, voting citizen, therefore I have a right to speak to any elected official, such as the DA, I please.

Shawn: You don’t have to be a… tax-paying voting citizen, do you?

5 Random Quotes for November (2009)

1. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing
2. Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it.  ~Author Unknown
3. As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.  ~Author Unknown
4. I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.  ~Steven Wright
5. Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.  ~Author Unknown

5 Random Quotes for October (2009)

1. I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.  ~Vincent Van Gogh
2. If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit
3. A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.  ~Author Unknown
4. We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.  ~Mark Twain
5. Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.  ~Hugh Miller, Snow on the Wind

5 Random Quotes about College

I thought it would be appropriate. My regular 5 random quotes will come later.

1. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. ~Theodore Roosevelt
2. If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing… you have a college degree. ~Author Unknown
3. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. ~W.H. Auden
4. A college education shows a man how little other people know. ~Thomas Chandler Haliburton
5. The quality of a university is measured more by the kind of student it turns out than the kind it takes in. ~Robert J. Kibbee

5 Random Quotes for August (2009)

1. It isn’t so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.  ~Groucho Marx
2. Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor.  ~James Russell Lowell
3. Riding:  The art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.  ~Author Unknown
4. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.  ~Albert Einstein
5. I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals and Miscellaneous Notebooks, May 1849
   

5 Random Quotes from The Lion King

1. Kid, at times like this, my buddy Timon here says “You gotta put your behind in your past!”
2. My dad just showed me the whole kingdom. And I’m gonna rule it all. Heh, heh.
3. Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars….So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you. And so will I.
4. Step lively! The sooner we get to the waterhole, the sooner we can leave.
5. I killed Mufasa!!

5 Random Quotes for July (09) or, OMG Quotes!

OMG!  Quotes!  I forgot to do the 5 Random Quotes for May and June!!!  This used to be my favorite category, but I seem to have forgotten.  I must be careful to stop forgetting my quotes.

Oh well, there shall be plenty of quotes this month, and you can quote me on that!

1. There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.  ~Bernard-Paul Heroux
2. To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three people, two of whom are absent.  ~Robert Copeland
3. I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.  ~Joe Walsh
4. I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.  ~Thomas Jefferson
5. Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.  ~Benjamin Franklin

5 Random Quotes for April (2009)

I apologize for my recent absence.  I shall continue to write again soon.

1. Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.  ~Peter Marshall
2. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards.  I got a full house and four people died.  ~Seven Wright
3. Academe, n.:  An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.  Academy, n.:  [from academe] A modern school where football is taught.  ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
4. Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”  ~Robin Williams
5. Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.  ~E.L. Doctorow

5 Random Quotes for March (2009)

1. Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.  ~Dave Barry
2. Night time is really the best time to work.  All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep.  ~Catherine O’Hara
3. To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.  ~E.W. Howe
4. Promises make debt, and debt makes promises.  ~Dutch Proverb
5. Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.  ~Stephen Butler Leacock, quoted in Michael Jackman, Crown’s Book of Political Quotations, 1982

Name That Quote!

Ok, you know the deal.  I give movie quotes, and you name them.

1. Oh wow. Thats a bad guy. That’s a really bad guy. Did you see his face? His head looks like one of the easter island heads.
2. Well as far as brains go, I’ve got the lion’s share. But when it comes to brute strength, I’m afraid I’m at the shallow end of the gene pool.
3. You’ve never heard of Chaos theory? Non-linear equations? Strange attractions? Dr. Sattler I refuse to believe you’re not familiar with the concept of attraction.
4. Oh, you got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo!
5. I hate snakes, Jock! I HATE ‘EM!