Archive for February 28th, 2008


Random Quotes From Freakazoid!

here are some clips from the best cartoon ever!

Dr. Mystico: I’ll build a private army of super apes and take over Cleveland!
Cosgrove: Don’t you mean the world?
Dr. Mystico: I meant the world, yes… What did I say? Cleveland? I always do that.
Announcer: Terror grips a peaceful city. Terror that wears a loin cloth. His real name is Royce Mumphy, but police in five states know him as Cave Guy. Yes, Cave Guy: hostile, powerful, but also highly intelligent
Cave Guy: I subscribe to The New Yorker.
Announcer: Only one hero can track down Cave Guy. Only one hero has the heart to fight this fiend. That hero is… [silhouette of Batman appears on the screen] on another network. Thus, we have no choice but to turn to this fellow. A teenage nerd, or is he…?
Freakazoid: [in tough guy voice] Nothing will stand in my way!
Cosgrove: Hey, Freakazoid! Wanna get a mint?
Freakazoid: [in normal voice] OK!
Freakazoid: …And then I got sucked into the Internet, and well, here I am.
Cosgrove: Y’know what you should do with your powers?
Freakazoid: What?
Cosgrove: I’d become a superhero, but that’s me.
Freakazoid: Naaaah.
Cosgrove: You could fight crime.
Freakazoid: Naaaah.
Cosgrove: Uphold the truths.
Freakazoid: Naaaah.
Cosgrove: Impress the ladies.
Freakazoid: OKAY!! I’ll do it!
[Guitierrez tries to find Freakazoid’s weakness, so he pulls a green rock out of his cloak]
Guitierrez: Behold, the purest Kryptonite. Feeling weak, my friend, oh so weak?
Freakazoid: That’s Superman‘s weakness, not mine!
Guitierrez: Really?
Freakazoid: Yeah, duuuuuuhhh!
Guitierrez: Oh, that stupid man at the store! Well then, how about this! [pulls out a yellow pad of paper, and holds it in front of Freakazoid’s face] Does the yellow hurt your eyes, my friend? Getting weak, oh so very weak?
Freakazoid: That’s the Green Lantern!
Guitierrez: Oh, shoot! [throws it down] Then how ’bout some… [picks up a glass of water and throws it in Freakazoid’s face] water in your face! Are you melting, melting, my friend?
Freakazoid: That’s the Wicked Witch!
Guitierrez: Oh, we’re wasting time. What is your weakness?
Freakazoid: Well…
[scene switch to Freakazoid in a cage]
Freakazoid: Dumb, dumb, dumb! Never tell a villain how to trap you in a cage!
Gutierrez: You probably shouldn’t have helped us build it, either.
Freakazoid: I know! Dumb!
Guitierrez: So… graphite bars charged with negative ions. That is your weakness, eh?
Freakazoid: That, or poo gas.
Guitierrez: You know, it’s a funny thing. Nobody likes poo gas, my friend. Blagh!

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