I put a post like this on my first site, but it was lost when my site was decimated. So, here are 13 random quotes from one of the world’s funniest people.
- Before I speak, I have something important to say.
- From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.
- I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
- I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
- I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
- I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
- Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
- One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
- Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
- Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
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