13 Random Quotes by Groucho Marx

I put a post like this on my first site, but it was lost when my site was decimated.  So, here are 13 random quotes from one of the world’s funniest people.

1. Before I speak, I have something important to say.
2. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.
3. I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
4. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
5. I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
6. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
7. I intend to live forever, or die trying.
8. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
9. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
10. No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
11. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
12. Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
13. Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.