Archive for May 10th, 2010

10
May
10

Zombies are People Too

Zombies marching for their rights...way to go guys!

Ok, lets say you are in Burger King eating a whopper.  Suddenly a zombie walks in.  Do you:

A. Tape a chainsaw to a rake and attack

B. Lock yourself in a basement and try to find a cure that will turn him into a human

C. Keep eating your burger

If you answered C, then you are a good person and can stop reading this article.  However, if you answered A or B, then you have Zombie Prejudices and should read on.

You see, when the zombie walked in, you made an assumption.  You assumed that he eats brains.  If he was in Burger King, chances are that the zombie just wanted a Whopper and diet coke.  Not all zombie eat brains just like how all blondes are not dumb and not all Irishmen are drunk potato lovin’ weirdos with great hair.

In fact, a recent study from the D.O.M.U.S.* estimates that only 1 in every 27, 000 zombies eat brains.  According to the same study, 1 out of every 5 zombies is a vegetarian.  Yeah, you don’t see zombies eating carrots on the TV often do you?

So why is Hollywood is anti-zombie.  Hollywood is all about the “beautiful” people and most zombies do not fit our current standards of beauty.  So Hollywood portrays them as ugly blood thirsty monsters.

By this point, I bet many of you are wondering about the Zombie Apocalypse and where that fits in.  This is actually just a misunderstanding.  Everyone knows that the ancient myans predicted that the world will end in a zombie apocalypse in 2012.  However, there was a translation error.  Instead of “Zombie apocalypse” it was supposed to say “Zebra apocalypse.”  The zebras are going to be what kill us all.  Them and their striped magic.

So next time you see a zombie, take him out to lunch.  Just make sure there is a salad bar wherever you are going, just in case he is a vegetarian.

*department of made up statistics

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10
May
10

5 Random Quotes for May (2010)

  1. Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.  ~Roman Polanski
  2. My spelling is Wobbly.  It’s good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.  ~A.A. Milne
  3. It’s a good idea to begin at the bottom in everything except in learning to swim.  ~Author Unknown
  4. Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.  ~Charles Reade
  5. I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.  ~Vincent Van Gogh
10
May
10

Iron Man 2 (4.5/5)

I went to see this on opening night, and it was awesome.

Iron Man 2 takes place 6 months after the original Iron man left off.  The government wants Stark’s armor, Whiplash wants stark dead, S.H.E.I.L.D. wants him for their own awesome purposes.  Everything seems to be hitting this guy at once.  Actually, this can be considered the best or the worst part of the film.  There are so many things going on at once, it feels a little convoluted.  (did I spell that right?)  This may be a turnoff for some people, but I found it to be to the movie’s benefit.  The complex, chaotic story lends itself well to the comic book film genre as comic books often have complex, chaotic stories.

That being said, they do take a few wrong turns with story direction, but its only minor problems.  The basic plot was epic and both villains are great.  Whiplash is scary and menacing, whereas Hammer is a funny villain.  This makes for a terrific contrast.

The film is very well balanced being equal parts story, action, and humor.  There are a lot of little Easter eggs hidden for us comic nerds.  I do have one complaint that I think needs to be voiced…Black Widow seems to have lost her accent.  She is supposed to have a cool accent, instead…she sounds just like Scarlet Johansson.  I know its not a big deal, but it bothered me.

Overall, this is a great film.  It is not one of my top 5 favorite super-hero movies.  I would recommend you go see it while its still in theaters, you won’t regret it!




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