Archive for the 'Funny Junk' Category

04
Dec
10

Breaking News!

Wow!  This has been one busy week for the entertainment industry!  We have received loads of new information regarding all kinds of up and coming projects.  Here is a quick rundown of the top stories:

  • In response to the success of shows such as “Ace of Cakes”, “Miami Ink”, “Ice Road Truckers”, and “Pawn Stars”, Fox network intends to release it’s own reality series about a particular Business.  “Krispy Kreme Kashers” will chronicle the adventures of a group of college students working at a local Krispy Kreme.  Not much is known about the new reality series, though the producers have confirmed that they plan to have several crossover episodes with “Cops”.
  • It has just been reviled that the reason George Lucas divorced his wife, Marcia, was that he found out that they were long lost twins.
  • Jim Carrey, Michael Cera, and Will Ferrell are set to appear in a documentary about typecasting set to air next year.
  • M. Night Shyamalan has teamed up with the writers of Scary Movie to create a new film entitled, “The Whispers”.  We know from his most recent films that M. Night can certainly handle a comedy but I am not so sure about the “Scary Movie” writers…  It is scheduled to be released on December 12th, 2012.
  • TLC appeared before congress this week to propose a new law requiring that every family with more than 6 children apply for a reality series.
  • John Favreu accidentally mentioned that Cowboys Vs. Aliens was to be the first film in a Trilogy.  We have also found out that the second film will be titled “Cowboys Vs Aliens Vs Ninjas Vs Zombies Vs Nazis Vs Indiana Jones”  The title for the third film will simply be titled “Iron Man 3”.
22
Nov
10

A Letter to Ridley

Dear Sir Madam pterodactyl Ridley,

I am writing to express concern over our latest encounter at Norfair (or, as many people are calling it, “No Fair!”).

You see, you are simply too fierce an opponent.  I know, I know, it is your job to challenge the player but you’re tricks are just plain mean.  I know you don’t have a health bar, but if you did I assume it would have 270 different layers.

You seem to be able to withstand my entire arsenal of Missiles, Super Missiles, and Power Bombs.  Not to mention, you can even attack me when I am using the Screw Attack.  Your tail is neigh but invulnerable, and you use it like a pogo stick which is terrifying, if not somewhat funny to watch.  Furthermore, you can fly.  Granted, I have Space Jump and unlimited jumps, but there is no way I can keep up with you in the air.

And as if your strength, speed, and wings weren’t enough, did you really have to fill the bottom of the room with lava?  I mean seriously, lava!  Isn’t that a little cliche’?  Do you know how easy it is to fall into that stuff while you are hopping along the tiny strip of land?  It’s really hard!

Furthermore, I thought my last suit upgrade was supposed to make me invulnerable to lava!  What the heck?!  What is this magic lava?!  That is just plain evil!

And don’t even get me started on the fireballs coming out of your mouth.  What is this, an episode of Scooby Doo?  Did you just eat a spicy pepper before this battle?  You are the most difficult second hardest boss battle I have ever encountered!

Though, to be honest your sheer level of difficulty would not be so bad if not for your great distance from the nearest save spot.  I have to transverse 5 rooms to get to you, including one room with two silver space pirates.  They are hard enough, but then I have to stand infront of one of those spawn pipes and shoot little enemies for 5 mins to regain my health and ammo!  I spend longer preparing to fight you than I actually spend fighting you!

Granted, I do like that you lost the armor.  It is nice to not have to aim for your mouth any more.  I also appreciate the awesome background music that plays during our fights.  But it would be nice if you could just take a chill-pill.  There is no need to be so cranky.

I shall be returning tonight to try to kill you.  I would appreciate a little more cooperation this time around.  Ok?  Thank you!

You Nemisis,

Samus (aka James R)

26
Sep
10

Pokemon Apokelypse

Check out this awesome fan made trailer for a live-action Pokemon movie.

[btw, I did not make this]

17
Jul
10

I Can’t Fight This Moblin Anymore

I finally did it!  I wrote a song!

This song is a parody of REO Speed-Wagon’s “I can’t fight this feeling anymore”  I hope you enjoy it.

I can’t fight this Moblin any longer
And yet I’m still afraid to let it go
What started out as gaming has grown harder
I only wish I the skills to grab that bow

I tell myself that I can’t play games forever
I say there is no reason for my tears
Cause I feel so confused in the dungeons
A walkthrough would give life direction, make everything so clear

And even as I wander you stay just out of sight
You’re a princess in a dungeon on a cold, dark winter’s night
And If I was getting closer, then I would still fight

But, I can’t fight this Moblin anymore
I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for
It’s time to bring this raft into the shore
And throw away the sword forever

Cause I can’t fight this Moblin anymore
I’ve forgotten what started fighting for
And if I have to crawl into that cave
“MEET THE OLD MAN AT THE GRAVE”,
Baby, I can’t fight this Moblin anymore

My life has been so confusing since I saw you
I been running around in circles getting lost
And it never seems that I can find you, girl
Cause the Triforce is in the places places that alone I’d never find

And even as I wander you stay just out of sight
You’re a princess in a dungeon on a cold, dark winter’s night
And If I was getting closer, then I would still fight

But, I can’t fight this Moblin anymore…

24
Aug
09

Kirby’s Midnight Snack

Found this kirby fan-fic on youtube, its halarious, hope you like it!

06
Aug
09

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Zelda Fanboy

10. Your playing a game called Twillight Princess..and there is a pony…are you sure this is not a little girl’s game?
9. Ocarina of Time is so overrated.
8. Where is the jump button?
7. So…In what order do these games take place?
6. Hey…Listen!…Hey, Hey, Listen!…Listen!
5. Turn up the volume, I can’t hear what link is saying
4. Never liked those games, but I did enjoy the cartoon they used to have
3. Do you know what the Zelda games need, more Tingle!
2. ANYTHNG about the CD-I Games
1. Well, excuse me princess

26
Jul
09

I Think I’m A Clone Now!

clone sign

Ok, in my last post I showed you some Weird Al Videos, right?  Well, after listinging to “I think I’m a clone now” about 15 times in a row, I decided that I wanted a clone.  However the process of creating clones is a complex process.

So, I googled it.  And now I have my very own clone.  I have affectionetly named him “Clone James”

Clone James and I are best friends.  He has great taste in movies, and always tells the funniest jokes.  We always get along great, and we never fight!  It’s like he knows my every thought.  I don’t know why I did not think of this sooner!  Clones are awesome!

Later today I am going to challenge me to super smash brother’s brawl.  (I can’t ever seem to beat myself)

Well, I got to go.  I need to go help myself clean the kitchen.

chess




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What I'm Playing:

  • BioShock(PS3)
  • Super Mario World (SNES)
  • Call of Duty 4: Moden Warfare (PS3)
  • Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64 VC)
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