Ted: Hi I’m Ted

All: HI TED!
Ted: And you are here because you all have a problem. You are all recovering cerealholics. Would anybody like to share with us about the road to recovery?

(the Trix Rabbit raises his hand)

Rabbit: Hi im Rabbit

All: HI RABBIT!

Rabbit: and I have been Trix free since 1967. I keep tyring to turn back to those old ways but, those sweet kids wont let me. I don’t know where I would be without them.

(Rabbit sets back down)

Ted: Anyone else?

(Toucan Sam raised his wing)

Sam: Hi i’m Sam

All: HI SAM!

Sam: I didn’t think I had a problem. I thought I was ok but I was’nt. I had fruit loops every day. I din’nt realize I had a problem until I got my nephews Puey, Susey , and Louis, hooked too.

(Sam sits down)

(Lucky runs in screaming)

Lucky: The are after me I know it! They are back! They are tring to steal my lucky charms. I hear them! I see them! You think I’m crazy but there there! I gotta use my magic to make them go!

Ted: Lucky, How many times do I have to tell you, there is no one following you. You have no magic lephracaun powers. Your not even irish. This is what the charms do to you.

Lucky: No! Its a lie! You just want me lucky charms for yourself! Well, You cant get em. Marshmellow Power!

(Lucky runs off)

Ted: See that is why cereal is bad. We have a guest speaker. A former cearealholic who wants to share his story.

(Boo Berry floats through the wall)

Boo: Hi I’m Boo.

All: HI BOO!

Boo: You may have noticed I’m a ghost. You see I ate cereal and then I died.

(Boo fades away)

Ted: That was a touching story.

(Ted wipes away a tear)

Ted: Anyone else want to share his story?

( Sonny the Cuckoo Bird raised his hand)

Sonny: Hi I’m Sonny

All: HI SONNY!

Sonny: I keep tring to stop eating coco puffs. But I just cant quit. This is my last hope.

Ted: It is hard to stop they are just so crunchy?

Sonny: Crunchy?

Ted: and munchy

Sonny: Munchy?

Ted: And so dang Chocolaty

Sonny: Chocolaty?
(Sonny starts jumping up and down)

Sonny: I’m Cooko for Coco Puffs! Cooko for Coco Puffs! Cooko for Coco Puffs!

(Sonny jumps so high he hits his head on the ceiling and falls to the ground)

Ted: Not again! Call he is unconscious. call 911

(later after sonny is rushed to the hospital)

Ted: That was pretty gruesome. But you may have needed that as a wake-up call. Cereal is unhealthy. It is healthier to eat the cardboard box.

Rabbit: No. The Mythbusters busted that.

Ted: Well, It is still unhealthy. We all need help and, that is why CA is here.

Tony (the tiger): I don’t know if I can do it. I love frosted flakes. They’re Grreat!

Ted: Yes you can stop! I have faith in you. besides you work as a coach at the school. What kind of an example are you setting for the kids?

Tony: A bad one. I am giving it up for good this time.

Cookie Crook: It can be hard Tony, I became so addicted I tried to seal cookie crisp. I have spent so many hours behind bars. It is a hard life.

Barney (Rubble): I know. Me and my best friend, Fred got into fruity pebbles. I kept tyring to take them from him. It ruined our friendship.

Ted: It is a sad truth but cereal destroys many friendships and familys.

Captin Crunch: may I speak?

Ted: Sure

(cap’n stands up)

Cap’n; Hi my name is Horatio

All: HI HORATIO!

Cap’n: but everyone calls my cap’n. I used to be the cap’n of the S.S. guppy until I crashed it into a dock…or two….and a grocery store…and a house. Now I cant get a job as a cap’n anywhere. But I have’nt eaten any cereal in almost three day.

(cap’n sits down)

(Ronald Mcdonald walks in)

Ronald: Is this fast foodhoilics anonymous?

Ted: No that’s next door

(Ronald leaves)

Ted: Well I think its about time we wrapped up this meeting. Good-bye everyone
(Everyone leaves)

Ted: Whoa, This was a stressful night.

(Ted opens his suitcase and pulls out a box of Lucky Charms, a carton of milk, and a bowl)

Ted: Yum

(Ted pours the cereal and milk into the bowl and pulls a spoon out of his pocket)

(Ted eats the cereal)

END


12 Responses to “Cerealholics Anonymous”


  1. April 2, 2007 at 8:35 pm

    BTW, thanks to Colt and Chris for helping me.

  2. 2 Steven
    April 2, 2007 at 9:08 pm

    Great story bro! 10/10

  3. April 3, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    That’s pretty funny, by the way, I’ve decided not to get messenger, and I don’t want you guys bugging me about it anymore, Colt can go ahead and post my e-mail address, you guys are the only one’s that see it anyway, and I can just delete his comments.

  4. 4 Elf-friend
    September 8, 2007 at 11:02 pm

    cute story, but kinda silly

  5. 5 dragonshensi
    January 13, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Hey!Why don’t you make a fast food alholics story. That would be great.

  6. 7 RubyDragoon
    May 7, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Cute story! That’s what high-fructose corn syrup does to you! BTW, this is Vivian.

  7. May 7, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Yeah, I had a feeling you would find these stories. I was hoping you would find the Lancelot one instead of this one, though.

    This one is not very good, the other one was better….although it was pretty long.

  8. 9 magazine166
    September 24, 2009 at 5:54 am

    Oh my god! That was funny. You should be proud of yourself. 10/10

  9. 11 Leslie
    May 6, 2010 at 9:41 am

    haha That is hilarious and super-cute! I could actually picture everything that was happening and hear the different character’s voices! You are very talented and so funny! Keep writing.

  10. May 7, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Thank you, Leslie. This story is a result of me sitting around too long while craving lucky charms. and the fact that I am a recovering cerealholic…I’ve been clean for nearly 2 months worth of breakfast.

    btw, if you liked this and FanFic, you would love Lancelot of Camelot…it is much better than these two…neither of these came out as funny as I imagined them, but Lancelot exceeded my expectations.


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