Ted: Hi I’m Ted
All: HI TED!
Ted: And you are here because you all have a problem. You are all recovering cerealholics. Would anybody like to share with us about the road to recovery?
(the Trix Rabbit raises his hand)
Rabbit: Hi im Rabbit
All: HI RABBIT!
Rabbit: and I have been Trix free since 1967. I keep tyring to turn back to those old ways but, those sweet kids wont let me. I don’t know where I would be without them.
(Rabbit sets back down)
Ted: Anyone else?
(Toucan Sam raised his wing)
Sam: Hi i’m Sam
All: HI SAM!
Sam: I didn’t think I had a problem. I thought I was ok but I was’nt. I had fruit loops every day. I din’nt realize I had a problem until I got my nephews Puey, Susey , and Louis, hooked too.
(Sam sits down)
(Lucky runs in screaming)
Lucky: The are after me I know it! They are back! They are tring to steal my lucky charms. I hear them! I see them! You think I’m crazy but there there! I gotta use my magic to make them go!
Ted: Lucky, How many times do I have to tell you, there is no one following you. You have no magic lephracaun powers. Your not even irish. This is what the charms do to you.
Lucky: No! Its a lie! You just want me lucky charms for yourself! Well, You cant get em. Marshmellow Power!
(Lucky runs off)
Ted: See that is why cereal is bad. We have a guest speaker. A former cearealholic who wants to share his story.
(Boo Berry floats through the wall)
Boo: Hi I’m Boo.
All: HI BOO!
Boo: You may have noticed I’m a ghost. You see I ate cereal and then I died.
(Boo fades away)
Ted: That was a touching story.
(Ted wipes away a tear)
Ted: Anyone else want to share his story?
( Sonny the Cuckoo Bird raised his hand)
Sonny: Hi I’m Sonny
All: HI SONNY!
Sonny: I keep tring to stop eating coco puffs. But I just cant quit. This is my last hope.
Ted: It is hard to stop they are just so crunchy?
Ted: and munchy
Ted: And so dang Chocolaty
(Sonny starts jumping up and down)
Sonny: I’m Cooko for Coco Puffs! Cooko for Coco Puffs! Cooko for Coco Puffs!
(Sonny jumps so high he hits his head on the ceiling and falls to the ground)
Ted: Not again! Call he is unconscious. call 911
(later after sonny is rushed to the hospital)
Ted: That was pretty gruesome. But you may have needed that as a wake-up call. Cereal is unhealthy. It is healthier to eat the cardboard box.
Rabbit: No. The Mythbusters busted that.
Ted: Well, It is still unhealthy. We all need help and, that is why CA is here.
Tony (the tiger): I don’t know if I can do it. I love frosted flakes. They’re Grreat!
Ted: Yes you can stop! I have faith in you. besides you work as a coach at the school. What kind of an example are you setting for the kids?
Tony: A bad one. I am giving it up for good this time.
Cookie Crook: It can be hard Tony, I became so addicted I tried to seal cookie crisp. I have spent so many hours behind bars. It is a hard life.
Barney (Rubble): I know. Me and my best friend, Fred got into fruity pebbles. I kept tyring to take them from him. It ruined our friendship.
Ted: It is a sad truth but cereal destroys many friendships and familys.
Captin Crunch: may I speak?
(cap’n stands up)
Cap’n; Hi my name is Horatio
All: HI HORATIO!
Cap’n: but everyone calls my cap’n. I used to be the cap’n of the S.S. guppy until I crashed it into a dock…or two….and a grocery store…and a house. Now I cant get a job as a cap’n anywhere. But I have’nt eaten any cereal in almost three day.
(cap’n sits down)
(Ronald Mcdonald walks in)
Ronald: Is this fast foodhoilics anonymous?
Ted: No that’s next door
Ted: Well I think its about time we wrapped up this meeting. Good-bye everyone
Ted: Whoa, This was a stressful night.
(Ted opens his suitcase and pulls out a box of Lucky Charms, a carton of milk, and a bowl)
(Ted pours the cereal and milk into the bowl and pulls a spoon out of his pocket)
(Ted eats the cereal)